Didn't you know?
by AAB
Summary: Harm is down and Mac wants to know why


_Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing with them_

**Didn't you know?**

It was cold, an icy wind blowing around the buildings. Mac shivered in her winter coat. As she forced herself to focus on the officer's explanation suddenly the wind seemed to blow less fierce. She looked aside. Next to her stood her co-worker Harmon Rabb, shielding her with his larger body. She gave him a grateful smile before returning her attention to the case.  
Later on he walked her to the car, his hand on the small of her back. Before she stepped in she asked "Would you like to come over this evening? We can discuss the case."  
To her relief he nodded "What time should I be there?"  
"What about 19.00? I'll make spaghetti."  
He stepped back "I'll be there."

At 19.00 sharp there was the expected rap on the door. Mac smiled. He wasn't late as many times as he used to be.

Opening the door her smile grew wider. Harm was wearing snug jeans and a dark green sweater, fitting tight around his muscular arms and chest. When he passed by her she threw an appreciating look at his behind.  
To her surprise he took a small box out of his bag. A light blush graced his cheeks when he announced "I brought dessert." Mac took the box and licked her lips when she saw the contents. "Chocolate mousse, I love it. Thank you." He smiled relieved.  
While they ate, cleaned the dishes, worked on the case, talked and laughed there was something in his attitude she couldn't name. Something withdrawn, something sad.  
After dinner the files appeared on the table and the next hour they were busy discussing and plotting. Satisfied with the plans Mac went to make a cup of coffee while Harm stored the papers away. When she returned with two steaming mugs and a plate of cookies, he had made himself comfortable on the couch and was flipping through the channels, trying to find something worthwhile seeing. But after a few attempts he switched off the TV and leaned back into the cushions. Mac frowned but didn't ask. They drank their coffee in silence. Suddenly Harm put down his mug and started pacing the apartment, only to end up at the window, staring into the night.  
"Harm, what's wrong?" Mac carefully asked after a few moments. He didn't answer.  
"Something happened?" Mutely he shook his head.  
"Is it something about the case? Any case?" Again a silent shake of his head.  
She became increasingly worried. She never saw him so ... so numb,  
"Is there something wrong with your family? Trish or Frank?" He kept silent.  
"With friends?" Now she was really getting desperate. He needed to answer her. And she got her wish. "No," he said, his voice sounding flat.  
"With someone else you love?" Mac dreaded to ask but had to anyway.  
"No, there is nothing wrong with her."  
Mac drew a deep breath. He had moved on. He had someone!

"There is someone you love?" Her voice sounded shaky but Harm didn't notice.  
"Yes, there is someone. But I don't think she feels the same about me. Or ever will feel, for that matter. I screwed up too many times." He shrugged. "Just forget it."  
Mac didn't answer and after a few moments Harm turned around to look at her. She was white as a sheet and it looked like all life had left her. She looked at him with glassy eyes but didn't move. It seemed she didn't even see him anymore.  
Startled Harm closed the space between him in three long strides and crouched in front of her. "Mac, what's wrong? What did I say?" She didn't react. He asked again. And again and again but it took quiet some time for his voice to penetrate her fogged mind. At first she just shook her head at his questions, but finally she answered and her voice was as lifeless as her demeanour.  
"I always hoped there would come a moment you would feel about me the same way I feel about you. That you would love me back…that we could bring our relation to a next level …"  
A tear slipped from beneath her eyelashes. She made no attempt to wipe it away, just sat and stared, not caring about what was to come. Without his love the future was a black hole.  
The next thing she knew she was swung around in a fierce embrace and someone kissed the living daylights out of her. Someone? Wait, it was Harm and as it was probably the last time he would be kissing her like that Mac kissed him back with all her might. Her arms went around his neck and held on for dear life. She was determined to make the most of it and whimpered when he pulled back to drew a breath. Like he had done on the evening of her engagement party now it was her turn to follow his mouth, not prepared to let him slip away. Ever!  
He was most happy to go with her and the next minutes there was only holding and kissing.  
Finally Mac allowed him to pull back and speak. "Didn't you know that you're the only woman I love, the only woman I ever could love? You're my other half, the one that completes me. Without you, I'm nothing."  
Mac slowly shook her head. "No, I didn't. You were always my best friend and even though I hoped, prayed it would be more one day, I didn't have a clue. And though there were occasions … I didn't dare to believe it, I was so afraid I read to much into it. Afraid it was just wishful thinking and that if I acted on it, I would chase you away." She tightened her grip again. "I love you so much."  
He did a step back and knelt down. "Sarah, I love you, so much. Will you marry me?"  
Mac could only gasp at him, her brain going blank, her lips not able to form a coherent answer.  
Harm looked at her in nervous anticipation but when she failed to answer, he jumped to his feet, stepping back.  
"Oh, forget it!"  
Now Mac looked at him in shock. "You don't want to marry me?"  
Harm looked shocked to the core. "Of course I want to marry you. Today, if you want to. But the proposal sucked. You deserve so much more, romance, music, candlelight, a ring. I should have waited and prepared better. I'm so sorry."  
Mac reached out and pulled him towards her, kissing him tenderly. Which quickly spiralled out of hand, so it was minutes later she said "I love you ... and yes, I want to marry you." She caressed his face. "I'd love to wear your ring but I don't need a fancy proposal." Suddenly her lips quivered and her eyes filled with tears again. "I need your love, though, and I need to hear that, a lot."  
Harm pulled her flush. "You have my love, unconditionally." He kissed her once more. "And tomorrow I'm going to shop for a ring. Or, if you want a say in it, we are."  
Mac gave him a loving smile. "Surprise me. But I don't want a rock, just a simple one will do."  
Harm frowned. "You're sure?"  
Mac nodded "yes. Those flashy big stones, an engagement ring is supposed to be a token of love, not something to show off or brag about."  
"It will be a token of my love," Harm reassured her, already making his mind up about the words he wanted engraved in it.  
They were silent again for a while. Then Harm asked "What kind of wedding do you want? And when? I hope you don't want a long engagement."  
Mac shook her head. "I just want to be your wife. I wouldn't mind if we just visit a justice of the peace. I know it's supposed the most beautiful day for a woman but I never dreamt of a big wedding."  
Harm felt silent and when he didn't answer Mac became anxious. "Harm?"  
"I did. I know men are not supposed to dream about their wedding but I did. I want a proper wedding, with family and friends and a nice dress, well, not me in a dress but you and … I want pictures we can show to our children and grandchildren," Harm blurted out. He blushed. "Every time I dreamed of a wedding, our wedding, even though I knew it probably would never happen, I saw you walking down the aisle towards me, in a beautiful dress and your unique smile… just for me." A bit embarrassed he stopped again. Mac was moved to tears. She only could hold him tight.  
After a few minutes she had recovered enough to say "we will have a proper wedding." She never had thought it meant so much to him but she was most happy to cater to him.  
"But I don't want to do something you don't like."  
She silenced him. "Harm, I said I never dreamed about a big wedding. I'm not opposed to it. If you want a real wedding it's okay. As long as it doesn't become a spectacle. With Mic…" She saw the flash of annoyance crossing his face and tenderly placed her hand against his cheek. "Harm, don't. He means nothing to me anymore. I mean, Mic wanted to have a big flashy ceremony to show me off. I don't want that. A wedding with our friends and of course your family, in a small chapel is fine." She looked at him "Mic is history, ancient history. You can let go of him."  
Harm sighed. "I guess I too need to hear that you love me a lot." Mac 'obeyed' immediately by wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a kiss. "I love you. And we will have that wedding. I don't want to wait long either …" she lingered and the way she looked up to him indicated it wasn't only the wedding she didn't want to wait with. It took him a few moments to catch the innuendo but then he rose to his feet, pulling her with him.  
"You're sure?" he asked.  
Mac nodded. "More sure than I ever have been." She freed released herself and headed for the light switches. Moments later the room was dark. She walked back, took his hand and led him to her bedroom. He complied without complains.

The end


End file.
